Having done my fair share of both business and leisure travel, I have some pretty good ideas about what kind of passengers are preferred by flight attendants.  I also have a good idea on who they hate, even despise, though they never will admit it while on duty.  So, you want my take on this situation, here you go.

First, here are the sh*t-disturbers they despise the most.  They seem to think it is a toss-up between the businessman who clips his fingernails (yuck!) at 30,000 feet, or the mom with an out of control feral three-year old who kicks the back of your chair for 5 hours.  Another flight attendant nominates the newlyweds who cannot keep their hands off of each other.  And what about the guy who guzzles three or four drinks practically before the meal comes out?

But a survey of 700 international flight attendants from 85 countries said the most annoying habit is when the passenger snaps their fingers to get the flight attendant’s attention.  Personally, I have not seen this particularly annoying habit.  But I have seen some that are nearly as bad.  One, is a passenger waving their napkin frantically to get the flight attendant’s attention.  It hardly means surrender, since the passenger is probably asking for the impossible.

Another bad habit noted by flight attendants are bin hogs, and passengers who ignore the seat belt sign when the plane has landed.  Perhaps, in tiny writing next to the lighted sign, it says “Fasten Seat Belt for everyone but me!  For me, since I almost always take a carry-on bag, I like to have adequate bin space.  And it applies equally to first class seats as well as coach.  Some people have no clue.

But get this!  Their ideal passenger, according to the same survey, is a 30-something single male, traveling (alone) for pleasure rather than business.  I find this rather hard to believe, since too many of today’s younger single flyers are a little out of control, both on land and in the air.  He does not seem like the type to read a book, or quietly nap.  He seems more likely to drink, sport some ugly tattoos, and have some foul body odor, in my experience. 

Another surprise is that economy passengers rate higher than premium class in the battle for “perfect passenger.”  But in the United Kingdom, English men are voted overwhelmingly as the perfect passenger.  Men from Wales were voted least favorite, but I do not know why (cheap or rude?).

  Yuck!!!!

Of course, it could just be a numbers game since 3 million of us fly the friendly skies each day.  How many times have we heard and seen the safety demonstration?  Yet, this is another of the flight attendant’s pet peeves.  Give me a break, nobody listens, not even the first timer!  Another peeve is stuffing junk into the seat pocket in front of you.

Heck, I thought that was the garbage container.  If not, would it not behoove them to place a plastic garbage bag in each row of seats?  I can imagine the trash, with things like used chewing gum, dirty diapers, candy bar wrappers, plastic soda bottles, condoms, and carry-on food wrappers.

At the bottom of the list are 1) asking for a different meal, 2) ringing the attendant bell to complain about the temperature, and 3) asking for a specific brand of drink.  I see no problems asking for these, IF you are in First or Business Class!!!!  But not in Coach.

One of my pet peeves has nothing to do with the flight attendants.  It is the way the planes are loaded with passengers.  Last month on a flight from Chicago to SFO, they asked “elite” flyers to board first.  Nearly everyone in front of me got in line.  And worse yet, they did not turn anyone away!!!!

My days of chatting on flights are over.  I prefer quiet time, preferring to read, listen to music, or nap.  The “no chat rule” is in play implicitly, only in First and Business, but not in Coach.  You would think that when I place my earplugs into my ears that they would get the hint.  Hint!  I plan on resting.

Speaking of peeves, I also do not care for the “flip-flop” flyers who decide to go barefoot in the plane, and place their feet (clean or dirty, but most likely dirty) all over the seats and arm rests.  The sanitation laws should apply, like they do in restaurants.

Babies crying is annoying, but perhaps we have all been in that situation, where they baby belonged to us.  But please, at least try to minimize the crying with something to drink, or a toy.  Failing that, of course, I recommend a hand towel, or better yet, a face cloth, stuffed into their mouth for take-off and particularly the landing.

Two similar, but contrasting views are disturbing.  One is the guy with the plumber’s butt, you know, the “crack” of his butt is showing when he reaching for his stuff.  The others are the young ladies, showing too much cleavage, and distracting me from my nap or reading.  How dare they do this on a PG rated flight!  As they say in the movies, there is a time and a place.  The place is NOT the 5 hour flight to Kansas, Dorothy!

  Is that you, Denny?

Finally, in the digital age, are the obnoxious people who type by the “hunt and peck” method on their laptops firmly attached to my seat back (and seemingly my spine).  Did they forget that these devices are called LAPTOPS, and not a “seat back computer”????