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All posts for the month March, 2014

How Is Your Air Supply?

Posted by golfkat on March 31, 2014
Posted in: Entertainment, Music. Leave a comment

Some of you are divers. Some of you are hot air balloon enthusiasts. We are neither, or it is neither? We are fans of Air Supply, certainly not the kind that comes in scuba tanks or big balloons. This is the almost vintage, Air Supply rock and roll duo from Australia, consisting of vocalist Russell Hitchcock, and guitarist Graham Russell. They had a remarkable eight Top Ten hits in the early 1980s here in the U.S. They have sold over 100 million albums.

They started out in Australia in 1975. Last October, they were inducted into the Australia Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. They met while performing in Andrew Lloyd Weber’s rock musical, Jesus Christ, Superstar in May, 1975. Together, along with Jeremy Paul, they formed Air Supply in 1976. It was not until 1979, when their “Lost in Love” caught the attention of Arista’s Clive Davis, who remixed it into an American hit.

In the 1980s, Barry Gibb not only produced their albums, he was part of their band. From this point, the hits kept coming, and they reached the peak of their popularity and recording prowess. In 1983, their “Greatest Hits” album containing “Making Love out of Nothing at All” became their biggest hit, selling over 7 million albums.

They have continued to tour the world, particularly in Asia where their popularity is unquestioned. Here is their discography:

Studio albums
•Air Supply (1976)
•The Whole Thing’s Started (1977)
•Love & Other Bruises (1977)
•Life Support (1979)
•Lost in Love (1980)
•The One That You Love (1981)
•Now and Forever (1982)
•Air Supply (1985)
•Hearts in Motion (1986)
•The Christmas Album (1987)
•The Earth Is… (1991)
•The Vanishing Race (1993)
•News from Nowhere (1995)
•The Book of Love (1997)
•Yours Truly (2001)
•Across the Concrete Sky (2003)
•Mumbo Jumbo (2010)

Mostly, their music is easy listening, and certainly crowd pleasing. The words and melodies are easy to understand. As a friend of mine once said, their music is clean, family music. This is the fourth time we have attended their concert. The other locations were: Vegas, Anaheim, and Saratoga. Tonight, the concert is in, of all places, Vacaville. So, we will shop at the factory outlets, have dinner nearby, attend the concert, and spend the night. What a nice way to end the week, on a high note of sorts.

Flight Attendant or Stew?

Posted by golfkat on March 23, 2014
Posted in: Entertainment, Travel. Leave a comment

Can you believe the median age of a flight attendant these days is 44! No wonder they call the older women flight attendants on United Airlines affectionately, “The Flying Mommas”. So rest assured, boys, they do not have a boyfriend in every city.

Another pet peeve of flight attendants, bring a pen on overseas flights! You will need to fill out some form of customs and immigration papers. Do not ask them for a pen or they will bite your head off.

Do you really have to go to the water closet when the 250 pound cart is in the aisle? It never fails, some ninnie is always trying to go when the cart is in the aisle. Are they really that clueless?

Of the more than 300 times a flight attendant says hello or goodbye, only 40 of us respond. I wonder why?

Forget the Mile High Club. The bathrooms are cramped and dirty!

Some people either take their shoes off, or wear flip flops on the plane. But to make matters worse, they put their bare feet all over the seat in front of them. Yuck! I even saw one guy who had nail polish on his toes!

Did you know that on night flights, the flight attendants purposely delay serving the last meal? They are hoping most of us are asleep, fewer meals to serve and pick up, and fewer drinks to serve. Yes, they are smarter than they look!

When parents sit in first class, and leave the kids in coach, they always ask the flight attendant to check on their kids. Hello? So much for the concept of a family vacation. And do not even try to take stuff from first class back to them!

Sixteen is the average numbers of days each month that a flight attendant works.

Business travelers are the most annoying. They think they have priority. They want to be first in line, first for overhead space, and first to complain. You know who you are.

Why doesn’t someone stop the traveler carrying oversized bags or more than the allotted two on board? And what about the little old lady that cannot lift or even pull her suitcase down the aisle?

People who play their music so loudly, even with their headphones or earbuds on. Really, are you that desperate for attention. And who wants to hear that rap or twangy country anyway?

Then there is the idiot who fell asleep, and left his window shade up. Of course, everyone else has closed theirs so they can either watch the movie or sleep. He should get ten demerits.

One of the worst things I have ever seen is a mother changing a diaper on their seat or tray table! Yuck! Likewise for clipping finger or toe nails on the plane.

Here is an old joke: How many flight attendants does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: None, they would rather sit in the galley and bitch about it!

Nine-eleven burst the flight attendant’s bubble. Their primary responsibility is patient safety. What happened? From that point on, their focus turned to patient comfort, not patient safety.

Now, imagine yourself on that Asian flight that “landed” at SFO, perhaps a little short of the runway. Who came to the rescue first? The pilots or the flight attendants? Despite everything that has been said about flight attendants, they came through that day. And they will again and again, because that is human nature, to help our fellow man or woman.

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Sports Fan Vacations

Posted by golfkat on March 21, 2014
Posted in: Entertainment, Sports, Travel. Leave a comment

Having just returned from Spring Training with the Giants, it got me thinking about the best places to see the very best sporting events. Though I have completed my lifetime Sports-Fecta (see previous emails), I still see a few venues on the horizon for future trips. Scottsdale is one of the great places to visit in the late winter and early spring. Besides the ballgames, the area offers great food, desert golf, and lots of plastic surgery of the female variety. But where else might a diehard sports fan want to go?

Indianapolis Home of the “Greatest Spectacle in Racing”, the Indy 500. I have been to the race, as well as the parade, and the Indy 500 Museum. Indy is also home to Lucas Oil Field, and the NCAA Museum. Dinner at the famous St. Elmo Steak House is a treat, as are the famous barbecued turkey legs out at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, located in the most appropriately named city of Speedway, Indiana.

Cleveland and Canton Though I have been to both, I have not been to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, nor the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. My preference is for the music! I cannot say that Canton or Cleveland offer anything else of note.

Upstate New York Cooperstown is the home of the Baseball Hall of Fame. Any baseball fan would love to visit this shrine to the “greatest game”. Nearby, I would also want to visit the U.S. Military Academy, fondly called, West Point, by the cadets and everybody else. Lake Placid and Niagara Falls are not far away either. While in New York, I would definitely attend “The Tonight Show” with Jimmy Fallon.

Iowa corn fields The movie, Field of Dreams was filmed here. I have no desire to visit, though I think the movie was next to baseball genius. I love the Burt Lancaster role of Dr. Archie “Moonlight” Graham, and the references to the famous Chicago Black Sox scandal. You can keep your Iowa corn fields, though I have been to Ottumwa, Iowa, the mythical home of MASH’s Corporal Walter “Radar” O’Reilly. Of course, Wrigley Field in Chicago is not far away. It the baseball equivalent of the Taj Mahal or the Vatican!

San Diego Who does not like San Diego? Great weather, nude beaches, Petco Park, the Gas Lamp District, and great seafood. It is also home of the Surf Museum and LEGOLAND, as well as the world-famous San Diego Zoo. I have nothing but fond memories of San Diego. After all, that is where I met the famous Sixty Minutes broadcaster, Andy “Mickey” Rooney!!!!

Louisville It is pronounced “Loo-ville” down there. Home to the most exciting two minutes in sport, the world-famous Kentucky Derby, as well as the Louisville Slugger Museum, the Muhammad Ali Museum, and lots of bourbon. Bring your hat, whether it be a baseball cap, or an elegantly plumed hat for the Derby. And Maker’s Mark bourbon is a must visit.

Philadelphia Not only home to the Liberty Bell, but also the Army Navy football game, the Philadelphia Art Museum, three professional sports teams, and a wealth of useless “Rocky Balboa” venues. But Philly does have the greatest cheesesteak. And the city is brimming with history of our great country.

Vegas, baby! I do not think of Vegas as a great sports town, but rather a great sports betting town. The Super Bowl weekend is a big deal here, as are most of the title fights in boxing, despite the lack of quality heavyweights. Food is cheap and plentiful, and there is plenty to do. Add conference basketball tournaments, All Star games, auto races, and bikini football, Vegas becomes a highlight in the sports world.

North Carolina The area is big on college basketball and bumper car racing (NASCAR). But North Carolina also has some great barbecue, and some of the best golf in the world at Pinehurst. The triangle is home to several great universities, lots of sports, and some of the best collegiate rivalries in our great country. A word of warning” tobacco built the area, and smoke is omnipresent!

New England Of course, Fenway and the Boston Garden are two must visits for any serious sports fan. It is also home to the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame, and nearby in Rhode Island, the International Tennis Hall of Fame. Boston offers great seafood, a wealth of venues highlighting the birth of our country, and nearby Salem, home of the famous witch trials.

Wisconsin The area offers great gold up in Kohler at Whistling Straits, as well as the cutest little team in all of pro football, the community owned Green Bay Packers. It is also home to the Friday Night Fish fry, as well as great beef, cheese, and ice cream. Little known fact, the Allen Edmonds Factory Shoe Store is located between Madison and Sheboygan. Just promise me that you will not buy a cheesehead hat!

Baltimore Home to Babe Ruth, Camden Yards, Cal Ripken’s record, and lots of good seafood. Pimlico is not far away, nor is the beautiful campus of the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis. I almost went to grad school there, at Johns Hopkins, back in the Seventies. And home to my newest best friend from Super Bowl 47, Dirty Pat.

Dallas I see no redeeming feature for Dallas, other than their state bird, the mosquito. The Texas sized steaks are good too. But I am going to the NCAA Final Four at Texas Stadium, but mostly for the free Bruce Springsteen concert in between the semis and finals. It is also home to Dealey Plaza, where President Kennedy was assassinated.

I think we missed a few. Los Angeles has a wealth of sports legacy, including both the Lakers and the multitude of UCLA basketball championships. Chicago is another city with a rich sports history, with the long-suffering Cubs, the champion Blackhawks, and the rise and fall of the Chicago Bears NFL team. Great food and theater too. Put them all of your sports bucket list. You can’t go wrong!

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Ten Things to Do in Phoenix

Posted by golfkat on March 20, 2014
Posted in: Action, Cultures, Entertainment, Food, Golf, Music, Shopping, Sports, Travel. 1 Comment

Their list:

1. Hiking

2. Phoenix Zoo

3. Golf (normally, YES!)

4. Wildlife Zoo and Aquarium

5. Desert Botanical Garden (worthwhile and interesting)

6. Shopping

7. Taliesin West (Frank Lloyd Wright) good place to visit

8. Spring Training (only if you go to a Giants game)

9. Dolly Steamboat (?)

10. Montezuma’s Castle (might as well go all the way to Sedona)

My list:

1. Visit the Sartorial Superman at Patrick James Men’s Shop

2. Shopping (at Cabela’s and factory outlets)

3. Giants Spring Training game

4. Old Town Scottsdale

5. Los Sombreros (for their chile rellenos)

6. The Good Egg (for their huevos rancheros)

7. Musical Instrument Museum

8. Climb Camelback Mountain

9. Spa and massage (of course)

10. Pink Pony or Barrio Queenmex32014-03-14 14.24.33

Spring Training, Cactus League Style

Posted by golfkat on March 19, 2014
Posted in: Cultures, Entertainment, Food, Travel. 3 Comments

As they say, hope springs eternal, every Spring in the greater Phoenix area. Several major league baseball teams have their spring training base here in the Valley on the Sun. This includes our hometown San Francisco Giants, and Oakland Athletics.

Most of you know that I have been coming to Spring Training since the 80s, when my kids wanted to visit. I could hardly argue. We could play golf in the morning, attend a game in the afternoon, and dine in Scottsdale’s finest restaurants at night. I think I like this type of baseball more than the regular season. But not more than the two latest World Series wins in 2010 and 2012.

After a thirty year hiatus, I went to a couple of Spring Training games last spring. Of course, I saw my Giants play, and I went out to the new facilities out at Salt River Fields, a mega facility for the Arizona Diamondbacks, and Colorado Rockies. It is a new, state of the art training and baseball complex.

While I may pass on the morning golf, the visit here brings back fond memories nonetheless. My son and I figured out how to get batting practice and game baseballs in both the Giants and Athletics ballparks. He would get so many baseballs, it became embarrassing! I would force him to give them away after he gathered several dozen!!!

The outlying areas of the greater Phoenix area are appealing as well. In fact, my parents were married here during their Relocation at Poston War Relocation Center. They requested a weekend pass and eloped, much to the chagrin of my maternal grandmother. Here is something of interest that I found: Poston was a subject of a sociological research by Alexander H. Leighton, published in his 1945 book, The Governing of Men. As Time Magazine wrote, “After fifteen months at Arizona’s vast Poston Relocation Center as a social analyst, Commander Leighton concluded that many an American simply fails to remember that U.S. Japanese are human beings.”

Shopping and visiting friends have replaced golf, at least for now. We also have taken advantage of Scottsdale’s reputation for spa and beauty treatments. I still remember the great watering holes and restaurants where the players could be seen having dinner. Things change when children are out of the picture. It is much more relaxing now. Life is good here.

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Scottsdale Sundowner

Posted by golfkat on March 17, 2014
Posted in: Cultures, Entertainment, Food, Travel. Leave a comment

The term “sundowner” is actually a term used in Africa for cocktail time. In my opinion, it is always cocktail time here in Scottsdale. Though we are usually here between Christmas and New Years, Scottsdale begs of party time, cocktails, and good music. March means Spring Training here, rather than the Fiesta Bowl.

I never get tired or bored here in this great town. When I say Scottsdale, I really mean the greater Phoenix area. I did not bring golf clubs, though I really should. The golf is great here in the Valley of the Sun. I have many great memories of playing here, not only with my son, but dear friend Debbie, and another old friend, Dandy Randy.

Shopping in the Scottsdale area is greatly under rated. Old Town Scottsdale offers the best, if somewhat inflated prices, on the best of southwest jewelry and artifacts. And the nearby upscale Scottsdale Fashion Square Mall is designer and teen heaven if you like that stuff. All the usual suspects are present, along with a few local twists on retail therapy.

But the one constant in all my years of visiting here is the food. Yes, this is the mecca for Tex Mex, southwestern cuisine, and Mexican food. And we have found the best place in the entire valley. It is Los Sombreros in Scottsdale, opened in 1994. What makes it so unique? They say the “soul of Mexico has come to Scottsdale”.

The owner, Azucena Tovar is from San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. In a move to be a little more upscale, they have a new ten course tasting menu for $75. This is the menu:

TWO TASTING-SIZED CUPS OF CORN CHOWDER SOUP

TWO CRISPY HIBISCUS TAQUITOS

FIG & PANELA CHEESE SALAD
With greens in a balsamic vinaigrette dressing

CRAB & MANGO SALAD
With honey lime vinaigrette

SNAPPER WITH ESQUITES

TROUT WITH ALMONDS IN LEMON BUTTER WITH CAPERS

CORN CAKE SOUFLÉ WITH MOLE SAUCE

PECHUGA RELLENA
Grilled chicken breast stuffed with goat cheese and huitlacoche in a chipotle tomato sauce

PORK CHOP SERVED WITH TAMARIND MOLE

PILONCILLO ICE CREAM

In addition, guests that order the 10-Course Tasting Menu can enjoy a selection of cocktails for $6. Cocktails include:

•Martinis (Tamarind, Strawberry, Apple, Mango, Pomegranate, Pineapple)
• Mojitos
•Margaritas
•Sangrias

I can hardly wait! But aside from this latest and greatest, they added a second restaurant in north Scottsdale. The old location is slightly south of downtown Scottsdale, in a very unpretentious place on Scottsdale Road. This is a Scottsdale must do, more so than the Pink Pony, or Don and Charlie’s.

Too bad the McDowell Mountain Music Festival is not happening now. That would make Scottsdale the orgy trifecta of everyone: baseball, music, and great food, not to mention the plastic surgery!

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Great Food in Sedona

Posted by golfkat on March 16, 2014
Posted in: Food, Travel. Leave a comment

Sedona is about 120 miles north of Phoenix, or roughly a fairly uneventful two hour drive. The spectacular red rocks come into view soon after leaving the Freeway (I-17), and meandering along the highway (SR 179) toward the red rock vistas. This part of the trip is always a thrill, no matter how many times we have been here. The main thing for me, is that it feels so different than Scottsdale.

Sedona is well know as a new age and spiritual mecca. Among other things, this could be a rather unique part of Sedona. “Sedona is famous as the home of five New Age vortices, areas where the Earth’s magnetism is said to have special properties. Vortexes are located at Bell Rock, Airport Mesa, Cathedral Rock, Boynton Canyon, and Schnebly Hill. You can take a vortex tour from one of many local guides, or hike to the sites yourself. Look for cairns marking the vortex sites.”

The other big draw here is the food, led by the famous Elote’ Cafe. The food is called the cuisine of Mexico culled from over 15 years of travels through Mexico by Chef Jeff Stedstad. If you have not been here, it is a Sedona “must do”. But that is easier said than done, as they do not take reservations. The line for dinner starts at least by 4pm, with the first seatings around 5pm. We arrived at 5pm last year and endured a two hour wait!!!

But they have an outdoor seating area with portable gas heaters, and Native American blankets. Generally, we met other travelers, much like ourselves, who travel both domestically, and world wide. It seems Elote attracts people from all over, regardless of the reason they visit Sedona. Chef and owner Jeff Smedstad comes out to greet people all evening!!

See if there is something on this menu that attracts you:

BOTANAS Y PLATOS CHICOS

Guacamole – Mashed avocado with cilantro, roasted chiles and lime garnished with spicy almonds and crispy corn 7.50
Beef Barbacoa Quesadilla – Homemade flour tortilla with braised Niman Ranch short rib, cheese, guacamole and crema 12.00
Green Corn Tamal – Fresh corn cheese and poblano chile tamal with salsa verde and crema 7.50
Chicken and Chorizo Flautas – Smoked chicken and homemade chorizo served with guacamole and crema 10.00
Grilled Ahi Tacos – (2) Grilled fresh Ahi Tuna tacos with spicy greens, pico de gallo, Avocado and crema 13.00
Tomato and Oaxaca Cheese Salad – with apple cider vinaigrette 8.50
Jicama-Orange Salad – With red chile dressing 8.00
Ensalada Verde – organic and local greens with cranberries, nuts and seeds served with honey lime dressing 7.50
Hongos en Chipotle – pan seared crimini mushrooms with chipotle crema 9.00
Sopa de Elote – Fresh corn and poblano chile chowder with tortilla strips, pico de gallo and queso fresco 8.00
Elote – Fire roasted corn with spicy mayo, lime and cotija cheese 7.50

PLATOS GRANDES

All dinners served with Rice and Refried Black Beans

Lamb Adobo – Braised Colorado Lamb shank, sweet & spicy ancho chile sauce 25.00
Carne Asada – Grilled all natural skirt steak with Guajillo chile sauce, rajas and shafts blue cheese 22.00
Shrimp con Espinacas – Grilled Wild Shrimp with creamy Chipotle Spinach and roasted corn salsa 24.00
Corn Crusted Scallops – Crispy fried Sea Scallops served with tomato jam, truffle crema and roasted poblanos 28.00
Carnitas – Slow-roasted all natural Pork shoulder with arbol-tomatillo salsa and guacamole 18.50
Smoked Pork Cheeks – Served with cascabel chile sauce, grandma’s corn cake and buttermilk cumin drizzle 18.50
Pollo en Mole Poblano – House smoked chicken in a puebla style mole 18.50
Smoked Chicken Enchiladas – All natural house-smoked Chicken with salsa verde and chipotle crema 18.50
Relleno de Pollo – Fire roasted poblano chile, smoked Chicken, vegetables and Tillamook cheddar cheese served with pipian rojo and pepita crema 19.00
Vegetable Relleno – Vegetable picadillo and nut stuffed poblano chile with oaxaca cheese, salsa verde, crema and pumpkinseed crusted goat cheese balls 18.50

During our visit last year, I can tell you the corn chowder is the best in the world!!! And the Mexican chocolate desserts scream for a nice Port to top off the evening. In between, try not to eat too much! The pork cheeks are the best pork dish I have ever had. Sedona 010

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eloteI love Sedona. See you there in a few.

Side bar: Make sure you see the red rock sculpture just east of downtown of Lucy and Snoopy of Peanuts fame. If you cannot make it out, ask a local, or just ask me!

Sedona’s Red Rocks, and More!

Posted by golfkat on March 15, 2014
Posted in: Action, Cultures, Food, Travel. Leave a comment

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2014-03-12 18.18.08The famous Sedona red rocks took over 350 million years to create. This area was both ocean and desert as it was undergoing volcanic eruptions. Three layers in particular, the Schnebly Hill. Hermit, and Supai formations combine to make Sedona’s beautiful scenery. The Supai Formation is named for the Havasupai Indians consists of the softer pale-pink to reddish-brown sandstone.

The distinctive scarlet color comes from iron oxide stains formed when flood plain deposits of iron minerals mixed with atmospheric oxygen. The faults along the creeks allowed water to break through the lava caps, and carve the iconic canyons of Sedona. The forces of nature built this beautiful panorama, nd seem to be present today in various forms. Ask all the believers of the energy and spirituality of this region.

I just simply enjoy looking, taking an occasional hike, or flight over the region, and leave the interpretation to you. This area does seem to attract a rather earthy hippie-like crowd. Lots of natural food markets, new age retailers, and spaced out locals here.

I must tell you that the corn chowder last night at Elote’ was supreme, as was the pork cheeks. Dessert was a colorful and tasty, though I was quite full from dinner. The salsa was equally unique, mostly a blend of homemade salsa, but loaded with fresh ingredients like cilantro, jalapenos, and poblano chiles. This might be my favorite place in the southwest, and worth the wait inline starting at 4 pm. We also met the chef, Jeff Smedstad, but refrained from buying his cookbook!

Did you know that the sun shines an average of over 300 days a year? That is more sunshine than Florida!

Arizona has more National Parks and National Monuments than any other state.

Sedona and Arizona have more mountainous countryside than Switzerland. It also appears to have more chocolate and guns.

Sedona is located in the southern part of the largest stand of Ponderosa pines in the world. So, if that is the case where are the Cartwrights, and did they film Bonanza here?

Actually, we have seen most of the sites, and also taken a helicopter ride over the magnificent red rock areas. And I have hiked most of the trails. And window shopped all the tourist stores. So, why do we keep returning?

I like to think that it is really magical, almost spiritual. If you have not been here, you should give it a try. To top it off, this young lady who worked for me said her husband’s family was from Jerome, the old copper mining town up in the hills a little southwest of Sedona. How did a Portagee end up in Arizona, and where did they keep their dairy cattle?

Tomorrow will be a full day of dining, starting with breakfast at the Coffee Pot Cafe, located near the base of the red rock called the Coffee Pot. Dinner will be at the world renown Elote’ Cafe in Oak Creek. In between, we may hike, do some retail therapy, converge harmonically with nature, or just take a long afternoon nap by the pool.

As they say here, everything is rouge!

Travel Quiz Time

Posted by golfkat on March 9, 2014
Posted in: Travel. Leave a comment

Time to test your Travel IQ, or TIQ. Borrowed slightly from National Geographic Traveler, my current favorite in the world of boring travel magazines.

1. In the Kalahari Desert, ring-shaped patches of grass are commonly known by what name?

2. Olympus Mons, the tallest known mountain in our solar system, towers 15.4 miles over the surface of what planet?

3. The Cardamom Mountains, a final redoubt of the Khmer Rouge, stretch across the border of what two Asian nations?

4. Together, the Portuguese words for wine and garlic form the name of what curry native to Goa, India?

5. What state has more miles of river than any other? (You will never guess)

6. Name the 14th century Muslim scholar from Morocco who traveled to 40 countries over a 30-year period?

7. The lion-fish hybrid known as a merlion is the mascot of what Asian city-state?

8. Algiers, Gentilly, Vieux Carre’, and Marigny are neighborhoods found in what American city, founded in 1718?

9. The Puerto Moreno glacier is located where?

10. Bonus question: Where is Gerry going in May?

Answers:

1. Fairy circles

2. Mars, of course

3. Cambodia and Thailand

4. vindaloo

5. Yes, Nebraska, whodah thought?

6. Ign Battuta

7. Singapore

8. New Orleans

9. Argentina, Patagonia

10. Some of you know, some of you do not.

What NOT to Wear on the Plane!

Posted by golfkat on March 5, 2014
Posted in: Travel. Leave a comment

You would think by now, after TSA rules, and just common sense, that passengers would dress appropriately for a plane ride. Conversely, there are people who probably go a little too far, and make their seat their own personal spa or retreat. So, what might these things be? And I certainly hope you are not one of them, names withheld to protect the guilty!

Uncomfortable Shoes Always in the eye of the beholder, as some of you may feel perfectly comfortable in your 6 inch heels. Did you ever think that you might have to evacuate, like the Asiana plane at SFO, run through burning grass, or dodging fire trucks? I have also landed on many runways and deplaning areas in SE Asia that are gravel or loose clay.

Flip Flops Enough said, see above. I know you want to show off your pedicure or toe ring, but really?

Complicated Shoes or Boots Can you see yourself behind some hipster wearing knee-high boots that have both laces and zippers up to the knee or beyond? That would be enough to make you miss your flight! Keep it simple! Slip on shoes are the best.

Fabrics That Don’t Breathe Save your S&M or Harley leathers for Sturgis or some other venue. This is an airplane, and nobody wants to sit next to a sweat hog. Or stinky leather.

Tight Clothing Ever hear of deep vein thrombosis (DVT)? Clots can form in your veins and lead to a potentially fatal pulmonary embolism. If you have this problem, wear compression stockings rather than form-fitting tights. Besides, most of the people I see on the plane in tight or form-fitting clothing should only wear them in the privacy of their own home, with the lights off, and the curtains closed.

Complicated Clothing Just remember, the bathroom stall, whether in first class or coach, is not Superman’s changing booth. Avoid body suits, long dresses and sweaters. Who wants to use their clothing as a mop on the lavatory floor?

Contact Lenses Of course, the plane is at least 10% to 20% drier than the air outside. Besides drying your skin and hair, imagine what it does to your eyes? Always carry some artificial tears for longer flights. If you must wear the contact lenses for your yet to be found dream boat, put them on just before landing.

Perfume and Cologne Is anything worse than sitting next to the woman who smells like a French house of ill repute? Or the hipster dufus with the 3 day old beard, trying to look like George Clooney or Brad Pitt with today’s latest cologne or after shave? Just use a mild moisturizer with a less than obnoxious scent. Whoo-ahhh!

Warm Weather Clothing Read this as too skimpy for the air conditioning in the plane. Layers are the key. Blankets are not always available, or available for a fee. Layers also mean packing less in your carry on. And besides, who wants to see your lobster colored sunburn after a week in Hawaii or Mexico?

Offensive or Inappropriate Clothing Keep your political statements in your carry on bag. And save your stripper outfit or sleaze ball outfit for your significant other. I hate torn T-shirts and jeans. And I dislike what is underneath even more!

Low Cut Dress and Hanging Jeans Again, as above, save this for the party you think you might have in your cheap motel room. This is an airplane, not the biker bar down the street.

Over the years of air travel, most of you would think I have seen it all. Some of the more obnoxious and smelly were the Grateful Dead, taking up all the seats in First Class on my flight to Denver. They were already a mile high before we got to Mile High. Some of the best were the college athletic teams, always well dressed and polite.

One interesting guy I sat next to thought he was Kevin Costner. He even wore his hair the same way, and sported the same worn down brown leather jacket. He proceeded to tell me and anyone else who would listen, that he was Costner. We all laughed, including the flight attendant. She went on the intercom to announce his presence, and he stood up and took a bow! On the other hand, one of the nicest trips I ever took cross-country was sitting next to actor Bob Duvall. Never once did he say he was an actor, and I did not realize who he was until the flight attendant told me as we deplaned!

Remember, the person you end up sitting next to on the plane could be me! At least, try to be civilized!
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