We all thought the TSA rules for carry ons were over the top when first implemented. People lost valuable items like vintage wines, sharp tools, wrapped gifts, perfumes, toiletries, food, and electronics. Is it any better now? Have you tried to sneak a few things through?
That got me thinking about things you should never carry on to an airplane, or even to an event venue like a sporting event or concert. And could it be something a little embarrassing as well?
Liquids Over 3.4 Ounces
I do not think they measure. I have inadvertently left things in my carry on that are not allowed. These include: sun tan lotion, water bottles, and alcohol, like beer and wine. Invest in a few 3 ounce plastic bottles. And toss the water bottles before you get to the checkpoint.
Battery Operated Items
Do they mean things like electric razors and toothbrushes? Or perhaps a personal hygiene item? Or sex toys? That would be terribly embarrassing no matter who you are. Did you hear about the two lesbians that…….? The TSA definitely made an example of them!!! I never take batteries out of my cameras, flashlights, or computer electronics. But I probably should.
Inert Weapons
Who is stupid enough to carry unloaded hand grenades or Molotov cocktails in their bag? What about things like chuka sticks, walking canes, hiking poles, ammunition, road flares, or billy clubs?
Sports Equipment
The most common item that I see on a plane is a tennis racket. It could be construed as a lethal weapon. I have seen items like baseball bats, hockey and lacrosse sticks, and ice skates confiscated at the TSA checkpoint. The strangest item I ever saw was a wood saw. Now is that considered a sporting good (for a lumberjack competition), or a musical instrument (for a hillbilly concert)?
Meats, Cheese, Chocolates
We take cheese and chocolate all the time. And some meats will pass, like my smoked omul from Siberia. But if you paid a lot for certain cheese or chocolate, I would ship it home. The same goes for fresh fish, cured meats, and dairy products. Imagine the mess if your package opened in the middle of your suitcase?
Weapons
Get real! I have seen numerous pocket knives confiscated. I wonder what a professional chef does with their cutlery if he/she is on their way to a cook off? I should ask Tom Douglas next time I see him in Seattle.
Smelly Snacks
The problem here is not so much the TSA, but the contents of your bag. I have carried pickled vegetables on a flight from SoCal, as well as dried squid, frozen abalone, durian cookies, smoked salmon, and the best snack of all, Chicago’s Garretts Popcorn “The Mix”, consisting of cheddar and caramel popcorns. Generally speaking, most people want to have the snacks that I bring on board.
What Else?
As much as I have traveled, I think I have seen it all. Not true! People are just crazy or bold, or both. I think they figure most things will get past TSA without much thought. I have inadvertently taken things like pepper spray, knives, cattle prods, and bicycle helmets through TSA checkpoints. I was once told that I had gun powder on my hands!!! And I do not own a gun.
Now here are my suggestions:
That got me thinking about things you should never carry on to an airplane, or even to an event venue like a sporting event or concert. And could it be something a little embarrassing as well?
Liquids Over 3.4 Ounces
I do not think they measure. I have inadvertently left things in my carry on that are not allowed. These include: sun tan lotion, water bottles, and alcohol, like beer and wine. Invest in a few 3 ounce plastic bottles. And toss the water bottles before you get to the checkpoint.
Battery Operated Items
Do they mean things like electric razors and toothbrushes? Or perhaps a personal hygiene item? Or sex toys? That would be terribly embarrassing no matter who you are. Did you hear about the two lesbians that…….? The TSA definitely made an example of them!!! I never take batteries out of my cameras, flashlights, or computer electronics. But I probably should.
Inert Weapons
Who is stupid enough to carry unloaded hand grenades or Molotov cocktails in their bag? What about things like chuka sticks, walking canes, hiking poles, ammunition, road flares, or billy clubs?
Sports Equipment
The most common item that I see on a plane is a tennis racket. It could be construed as a lethal weapon. I have seen items like baseball bats, hockey and lacrosse sticks, and ice skates confiscated at the TSA checkpoint. The strangest item I ever saw was a wood saw. Now is that considered a sporting good (for a lumberjack competition), or a musical instrument (for a hillbilly concert)?
Meats, Cheese, Chocolates
We take cheese and chocolate all the time. And some meats will pass, like my smoked omul from Siberia. But if you paid a lot for certain cheese or chocolate, I would ship it home. The same goes for fresh fish, cured meats, and dairy products. Imagine the mess if your package opened in the middle of your suitcase?
Weapons
Get real! I have seen numerous pocket knives confiscated. I wonder what a professional chef does with their cutlery if he/she is on their way to a cook off? I should ask Tom Douglas next time I see him in Seattle.
Smelly Snacks
The problem here is not so much the TSA, but the contents of your bag. I have carried pickled vegetables on a flight from SoCal, as well as dried squid, frozen abalone, durian cookies, smoked salmon, and the best snack of all, Chicago’s Garretts Popcorn “The Mix”, consisting of cheddar and caramel popcorns. Generally speaking, most people want to have the snacks that I bring on board.
What Else?
As much as I have traveled, I think I have seen it all. Not true! People are just crazy or bold, or both. I think they figure most things will get past TSA without much thought. I have inadvertently taken things like pepper spray, knives, cattle prods, and bicycle helmets through TSA checkpoints. I was once told that I had gun powder on my hands!!! And I do not own a gun.
Now here are my suggestions:
Never take anything alive onto the plane. This includes things like ants, hamsters, rats, mice, and snakes.
Never take anything with FIZZ!!!! Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what an arrest it is!!!!
Blood products should never be taken on the plane, even blood derivatives, vaccines, and biologicals. What if someone was carrying anthrax or ebola?
Some equipment like bicycle chains or handcuffs are also a no no. Are they considered art, clothing, accessories, or absolute necessities? Those of you who use them know!!!
Do not bring your dirty underwear onto the plane!!! Also, leave your Sharp’s container at your hotel or wherever you were staying. There is nothing I hate more than used syringes falling onto the conveyor belt at TSA.
You heard about the lady who tried to bring her dead cat on board? No dead cats, two legged or four legged!!! And I do not care how cool that cat might be.
