I will try a few jokes to entertain you, as well as lighten the mood. I hate being cooped up during the “shelter in place”, but at least, I can go to work a few days a week.
Thanks to my dear friend, Barry the V: I once knew a grape which could have been served up as the finest cab. sauvignon in all of South Africa, but sadly she landed up in a bottle of mediocre over sugary Manischewitz Shabbat wine.
If the virus had come along in earlier times: Bleeding was the accepted treatment for really ill patients for over 100 years, until there was actually a controlled trial. (Thank you Dr. W)
As see on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalized for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and hewill be Staying Alive.
For my local Bulldog friends: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
Some deluded scientist said to eat Chick Fil A and shop Hobby Lobby during the quarantine. Nobody seems to care about being PC all of a sudden!
What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I have an EpiPen. A friend gave it to me while he was dying. it seemed important to him that I have it!
What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal one? The taste!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “p” is silent.
How did the blonde die ice fishing? She was hit by the Zamboni.
What do you call a blonde that never showers? A dirty blonde.
Did you hear about the blonde that tried to blow up her husband’s car? She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
What is the best blonde secretary in the world? One that never misses a period.
And finally, what do blondes and and dog poop have in common? The older they get, the easier to pick up!!!
Sorry for my numerous blonde friends. But we all needed a minute or two of humor.
Keep your spirits up during this period. Speaking of spirits, many places will ship wine at reasonable rates. I also hear the home still equipment purveyors are doing a great business now.