Does this still apply in 2021? See for yourself.
I have no words of wisdom myself. But please stay safe during the Christmas holiday. I wish you great health, happiness, and peace for Christmas and the New Year!!!
I found this email I sent in 2008, about holiday eating. It is hilarious!
I am going to borrow a few eating tips from the guru of gourmet, Debbie. I will reserve some editorial license where I differ from the norm.
| HOLIDAY EATING TIPS 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls. (Amen) 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can…and quickly. It’s rare…you cannot find it any other time of year but now. So, drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas! (I have never been a big fan of the nog) 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. (Amen again) 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. (A great analogy for us men) 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello? (If I snack, it is because I am hungry BEFORE the party) 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. (Much like the Protestant work ethic, I must do something, probably walk 18 holes) 7. If you come across something good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again. (We could do the George Costanza and just stuff them in our mouths faster than anyone else) 8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? (I must vote for Ingrid’s apple pie before all others) 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. I mean, have some standards. (DO NOT like fruitcake, but have known many) 10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!” Debbie is wise, omniscient, and otherwise cool. And she really knows how to hunt and gather. Take heed!! |
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